Back in July, my grandmother found out that she had a few spots on liver that were cancerous. She was in her 80's and has always been a fairly healthy woman aside from not getting around that great. During this time she had been staying with my uncle and in-out of the hospital. Still, she wasn't THAT sick. We have talked weekly and sometimes more than that for years now. I was putting the trip off to go visit until early November. October was already busy with trips, school, birthdays, and a few other things. However, a few Thursdays ago, my Dad called with the news that she had Stage 4 Pancreatic cancer as well. Hospice gave her a week to 4 weeks. I knew then, that I needed to get home and see her. I wanted the boys to see her again. I wanted another picture. I wanted that time with my Mamaw Jo. She was a grouchy lady more times than not. BUT she loved me and my family. She always made sure we had something for our birthdays and Christmas even if it meant me going and buying. She loved talking to them on the phone. She loved getting pictures from us. Her heart was big yet could be bitter sometimes for whatever reasons. However, when we arrived Sunday afternoon there wasn't a bitter bone in her body.
The trip went so smooth. I left early that Sunday when Mark left for work. We made 2 stops for gas and 1 for the bathroom. I packed lunch and lots of snacks. Mamaw looked as good as she could when we saw her. Her arms were swollen bigger than anything I had ever seen, but she had a smile and was so happy to see us. Filled me with joy. I never wanted to leave. Daddy and I took the boys outside to ride their scooters. I remember him saying, "She doesn't look like she wouldn't be here in a week or two does she?" I said no, but it can all change fast. Little did I know that's what would happen later in the week. She wanted to see the boys ride, so we said we would try and get her out there Monday so she could see. Monday came and she thought looking out the window would be best. Tuesday came and she didn't think she could go see them at all. That's just how fast she went down hill.
Bently was there through it all. Whenever I said I was going, he was going too! We spent a few late nights up there with her. Took her mashed potatoes because she thought she may could eat, but couldn't . She thought strawberries and cool whip sounded good, but couldn't eat those either. I ended up feeding her ice chips the last few days just to wet her mouth. How sad is it that someones wants something yet your body is telling you no. I massaged her hands, I played music for her. "It is well with my soul" and "Go rest high on that mountain" by Vince Gill. Times were precious and I knew there was nothing left on this Earth that she needed. In a few moments we had together just she and I, her eyes closed most of the time, she told me to never forget her and just how precious my boys were. WOW!!! Words that I will never forget. On a night when I felt sure the Lord would take her, he didn't she lasted a whole day and half later. It broke my heart knowing I had to come back to Augusta and she still be there. Would they hold her hand? Would they still talk to her? Or let her lay there as if she was gone? Thankfully, the Lord heard my prayer and took her early Thursday morning before I headed out. Sad, yes, but at peace more so. She loved and was loved. Her heart was right and now she is with her brothers, sisters, husband, mom, and dad.
Rest in peace sweet Mamaw and watch over us as we live this life with out you. I've wanted so many times this week to call her and talk. It's tough, but I look to heaven and now that she is with us.
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